I Know A Secret

For years now I have known disgruntled people who seem like no matter what happens in their life they are angry.

These people are just never happy. They go through the day complaining about this, yelling about that, and viewing the rest of us like we could not do enough to please them.

EVER!

Although everyone yells, or gets angry, on occasion, most of us can shake it off fairly quickly and move on. I’m talking about the people who remain in a constant funk and disapprove of everyone they know and meet on a daily basis.

You know who these people are. If you work in any sort of customer service position I’m certain you see them all of the time. Or perhaps you deal with customers on the phone. It doesn’t really matter where the venue is, at work, out with your family, at a restaurant, or just watching the news. Angry and grumpy people are all around us!

I’m sad to report that for many of them there is no hope for change.

For some reason these people feel that everyone is out to get them, and that the world just sucks. It feels as though it is their mission in life to let the rest of us know just how pissed off they are.

Don’t let me be just another downer, because there actually is hope for many of these poopy-heads. (yes, I called them, poopy-heads).

The secret I have, is that the answer has been in front of us all along.

If you feel you’re one of those people that suffer from being a poopy-head, let me point out the cure. I’m sure you will recognize almost all of these things right away.

Enter the “Golden Rule”

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Over the years this one concept has shown itself in many forms as far back as there has been written language. Almost every religion has a version of this magical instruction, from Confucius who said,

“Here certainly is the golden maxim: Do not do to others that which we do not want them to do to us.”

to the Wiccan’s “Rule of Three” which states,

“Whatever energy a person puts out into the world, be it positive or negative, will be returned to that person three times.”

And for the Christians among us,

“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” - Galatians 6:7

So you see, the answer has been all around us for centuries.

If you’re a jerk, expect your life to not go the way you think it should. If you go through your days seeing only the bad in people, and practically creating a bad atmosphere wherever you are, then this will be reflected back to you as surely as if you were looking in a mirror.

This is commonly known as a,

“Self-fulfilling prophecy”

A self-fulfilling prophecy is basically when someone expects something is going to happen, such as a person feeling that today will be a crappy day for them. Since this person has put the negative thought out there (well, probably more likely into their subconscious) they are prone to unwittingly direct the course of the day in a negative direction.

It stands to reason then, that the self-fulfilling prophecy can also work in the other direction. If you wake up every day with positive thoughts, and the expectation that the day will bring adventures, meeting new people, and just a great feeling of enjoying your surroundings, then that day will probably be a great day.

All of these things focus on one little secret.

Live a positive life!

Get up every day with the expectation that something wonderful can happen. Talk to people you don’t know, even if it’s just to say, “It’s a great day isn’t it?”

I have literally seen people turn from grumpy to positive with that one little saying. The transformation is fun to watch!

If you see a grumpy old man sitting somewhere wearing a Navy ball-cap with a ship on it, take a few seconds of your time and ask them about it.

Compliment a woman on her appearance if her outfit looks fabulous, or even if it doesn’t.

I can guarantee that if you go through life spreading positive cheer, you will end the day very pleased with yourself. The exciting thing is, you have spent your day bringing happiness to others and you have no idea where that one act of kindness went from there.

The Christmas season is the time where we all try to get into the spirit of giving and spreading joy. Why don’t you do that all year long?

That is my secret for being so happy every day. Try it! It’s addicting!

A Dinghy On Life's Ocean

Many people spend their lives as a perpetual victim. Everything that happens in their life is caused by something, or someone else. It's hard for them to look inward and see that almost everything we feel comes from within, not from outside ourselves.

A quote I have heard off and on for a long time has always rung true, and I feel it is very simple, yet very profound. When I hear of someone upset about what another person has said, or perhaps about the cards life has dealt them, I always think of this quote.

"Nothing external to you has any power over you." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Other people can call you names, write/say bad things about you, or knock you down and take your lunch money. Although these things do have an affect on you, they do not have power over you.

How you react to an external event is all your choice.

I see so many people that become angry, and even violent, when someone says something about them.

This is an immature response.

Life is too short to allow others to control your emotions to the level of anger and stress.

I'm sure most of you have heard the expression,

"Just let the comment roll off you like water off a ducks back."

Essentially, this means to ignore the comment. Why would you openly invite confrontation by reacting to any negative comments? This just serves to elevate a bad situation, increase your anger and stress levels, yet yields zero positive results.

If the source of the negativity is a rare occurrence then not paying any attention to it is the best course of action.

On the other hand, if there is a continuos flow of external darkness, it's always a good idea to remove the disease and choose a different environment to hang out in.

Whether it's negative friends, poorly run organizations, or any number of other possible problems. Don't go through life like a dinghy on life's ocean, being tossed around by forces you think you can't control.

Instead remember you have complete control, and distancing yourself from the problem will always result in a happier, healthier life.

In closing I'd like to leave you with this last little gem of a quote. It comes from a comedy team I saw at a renaissance festival in Larkspur Colorado years ago.

"I feel like I am in a glass bottom boat in a sewer. I'm in this shit, but clearly above it all." - Ralph Puke (Puke n' Snot)

This has been one of my feelings ever since I heard it. When it feels like I'm in deep do do, I just remember Puke's words of wisdom, and keep on sailing...

Don't Worry

I'd like to start this blog off with one of my favorite quotes. We all worry about something from time to time. Some people tend to worry a bit more then others. This quote is from the television series called, "Kung Fu". In the scene this quote comes from, David Carradine's character is in a house and, as usual in the series, bad guys are going to come and cause problems. I believe one of the female characters in the house sees David Carradine sitting calmly while everyone else is freaking out and asks why he isn't worried, to which he replies,

"If I worry, will the future change?" - Kwai Chang Caine

The moral of the story of this quote is basically not to stress about things that you can't change. This is not healthy and you also negatively affect those around you. Stay calm, and in control. I'll leave this post with another famous quote about worrying. This time, it's from a popular song.

"Don't worry, be happy" - Bobby McFerrin